How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
