There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
