I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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