i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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