We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
