man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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