the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
