Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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