You're my little dorito
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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