help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
