i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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