you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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