I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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