Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
