Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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