Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Randomize
