I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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