what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
