It's chlamydia! Thank God!
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
