i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Dignity is for republicans.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
