wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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