and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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