Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
