how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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