She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
