we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
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