just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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