Moan for me like Helen Keller
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
