Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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