I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize