I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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