Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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