If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
