Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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