Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Randomize
