I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
