Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Apparently you make a good broom.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
