What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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