My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize