Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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