she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
