first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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