oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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