3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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