i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
