I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Randomize