Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
