Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
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Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize