I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
kristin has been a bad kristin
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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