he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
