I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Randomize
