well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize