No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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