Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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